Pens, planners and post-its. Writing always helps me deal. Here, I explore how to heal. I’m plucking out pesky thoughts and nurturing tender feelings. Slowing down to breathe and release the love that lives inside me. “My cup runneth over” so I’m here to overflow…
In an article I published on Camarilla Complex I asserted that we can’t find happiness outside ourselves. We won’t feel “whole” by accumulating accomplishments and acquiring accolades. Won’t be “complete” in the arms of another. We’re essentially condemned to being dissatisfied, or as the Old + New Testament would put it–
That is, until we “see the light”. We won’t feel satisfied unless we can tap into it.
Fulfillment is the feeling we get when we’re plugged to the Source. I call the power source: God. That connection fuels our energy (innerG) and when we make room for innerG flow, that’s love.
Tapping into “love and light” means honoring a divine bond. Listening to my “conscious”, deconstructing my fears, trusting my intuition, paying attention to gut feelings, being inspired by “genius”…
All sacred texts (like the Bible) have epic story-telling. Elaborate depictions and outstanding parables on every page. They are tools to help you dive deeper into yourself. Not a “How to Be Eternally Happy When You Die” Manual or “Why You’ll Never Be Good Enough” Guide. If you follow “the word” but disconnect from your highest self (the God in you/ Spirit ) you’ll feel the proverbial flames. We’ve all felt them. When it rains it pours kinda thing…
I realize now I can make the thunder storms stop. I’ll explore the magic in that. In letting go of old beliefs, rules and regulations. I’ve unlearned so much. New notions now resonate on a deeper level. These days, most realizations feel familiar. Like I just needed a reminder. Hopefully I can jog your memory, too. I want you to reclaim your power. Walk on purpose. Move with passion. Dance and laugh at yourself.
Disclaimer(s)
I won’t have disclaimers on every post so let’s get on the same page about where I am. That way you can see how you’ll benefit from being here with me.
I’m dumping a lot on you in this one sitting so I’ll break things down in posts to come. Just want you to know what’s helping me choose happiness and healthiness over instant gratification. It’s my intent to make concepts and modalities from different schools of thought (psychology, sociology, biochemistry, quantum physics, etc.) easier to digest. I’ll show you how these subjects affect us on a daily basis. And share resources that will help rewire your brain to aid in your expansion.
You’ll notice I poke fun at sensitive subjects. I love to feel light, and tend to make light. For better or worse. Call it a coping mechanism? a nervous twitch? a zest for life??? However you perceive it, just know that having a sense of humor is must around here. I’m going to connect with you on different levels. From holy to petty. Take what serves you and leave what doesn’t.
Embrace your curiosity. Ask tough questions. Fall in love with your depth.CLICK TO TWEET
Religion x Me
Faith isn’t a topic most people take lightly. Religion is at the root of most wars. It’s unfortunate that ideologies create rifts among communities, families, and even tears on the fabric of who we are.
Most of us are taught to spend our lives awaiting a divine pat on the back at the end of the tunnel. No disrespect to what you currently believe but let’s call my writing… provocative. I debunk popular beliefs, widely accepted ideas, and misconceptions. I’m here to challenge what we’ve been taught.
I grew up Catholic. Then Christianity saved me at 14 when I accepted Jesus as my lord and personal savior. I spent nearly 10 years clinging to that belief. Feeling like Jesus in all his perfection was a being very different from me. Worthy of my praise because he gave his life for us lil heathens. And if I didn’t believe in him I had no chance of dying and relocating to paradise.
Watch Zeitgeist if you’re ready to bust that mind open.
My thoughts on “Jesus” have evolved. Now that I’m on a spiritual path (in relation to the God in me) I see him as a role model. He’s more so– the homie. He was rebellious at a time when the world was in disarray. He stood up for what he knew to be true in his heart despite having the masses against him. He didn’t bow down to anyone or anything but the God inside us all. I see now that he’s not the plug. He’s not gonna slide me into the pearly gates of heaven cuz I claim to know and accept him. MAD PEOPLE are calling his line without realizing they are THE PLUG.
How many hateful people do you know who SWEAR they’re “God-fearing”?
God is the force that connects us all.
God is love.
When I tell you I love you, I see God in you.
The Shift
After giving up on my first entrepreneurial venture, a series of events unfolded that drove me to depression. I didn’t call it by name, then. I never thought it would “happen to me”. But I was numb. On autopilot. Not sad, just demotivated and disconnected. The more I thought about my slump… the more helpless and exhausted I became.
Avoid brain fatigue fueled by overthinking.CLICK TO TWEET
I wanted to drown out my clouded emotions and fluffy misery. Not realizing I was just abandoning myself. I was (secretly) uneasy about others not holding me down while I was down. When really, I wasn’t even “there” for myself. I wasn’t patient and kind to the ONE person I needed the most — my damn self.
So What’s Underneath?
Behind my smiles and deliberate “niceness” I was in pain. And didn’t even know it. Underneath my achievements I had so much to prove. I realized that time doesn’t heal wounds. Just helps us ignore the ache.
It’s my duty to find these sore (sometimes infected) spots that I’ve neglected. That’s how I nurture myself back to health.
Emotions I never used to let myself “feel” periodically come to surface. These feelings have stir up internal turmoil and external “conflict”, but these moments have only helped me understand myself (and others) more. In tapping into the love that lives within me I’ve been able to attract and accept love around me. I’m remembering how magical I am. How full of magic we all are.
Like I mentioned in this post, watch “Spirit Science,” if you want to recall your abilities, too.
Glowin’ Up
I thought I outsmarted life when I learned to suppress my “negative” feelings and discovered how easily I could please people around me. Often times, that’s how I got “my way.” Somehow, what was best for me ended up lost in the shuffle.
Thankfully “this little light of mine” is helping me get out of my own way! Got me to reassess my attitudes, perspectives and overall direction. To reevaluate my relationships with my parents and consequently all my loved ones. To start unpacking my baggage.
Now I see that when I feel anxious or “empty” I’m usually just longing for MYSELF. Yearning to reconnect with the parts of me that have been ostracized. Passions and inclinations left to rot for fear that I’d be less worthy of love and heavenly mercy.
When I believed God was outside of me (watching over us) I was always on GO mode. I became so busy on my quest for success that I didn’t realize I was running from silence and stillness. Hiding from the only place I could refuel. Like when you avoid the gas station but your tank is on E. I was avoiding myself. Tuning out my Spirit. Forfeiting my feelings. Neglecting my body. Purely focused on what was on my mind. Hence why I accumulated “mental clutter.”
I’m intrinsically drawn to people’s pain. I used to dive into the next person’s anguish to avoid feeling my own. A bug attracted to light. I’m comfortable dealing with shadows. I can bear what people hide from others and peep what people deny themselves. Perhaps I always gravitate toward people who are just. like. me.
The Occult (what’s hidden)
I have a hard time admitting that I was ever afraid of the dark. I’ve always been fascinated by the “unknown”. Hearing scary stories, reading suspenseful book, watching horror movies… it was a happy childhood in my eyes. Clearly I was pacified by the idea that monsters lived outside of me.
By third grade, I had an extensive collection of rocks and crystals. I even got my first tarot deck. “Tia Milagros” (my aunt) knew to bring her woes to me. That same year, I started studying for my First Communion by exploring the bible. I quickly (and fearfully) left “dark” pieces of myself behind because the bible says so.
Religious teachings further instilled a sense of morality and “belonging” within me but certain beliefs eventually fell short.
I’m currently working to reintegrate all of me. The same way the moon complements the sun, we all have a “shadow.” Science refers to our ‘shadow’ is our subconscious mind.
You know how “they” say we only use 10% of our brains? WELP, that’s because 90% of our mind operates on a subconscious level. Essentially, we are not aware of the thoughts that live in this powerful space. It’s home to ideas, beliefs, schemas, painful memories, etc., that we keep locked away. These buried thoughts often trigger emotional responses in us. It’s our duty to observe ourselves, see what affects us, and ask ourselves “why?”
Working with Your Shadow
When you’re ready to embrace your shadow (which is begging for your attention) you can’t think about what you’re feeling. “Thinking” is a conscious process.
Simply ask yourself: “when was the first time I felt this way?”
Different scenarios may arise. Each of which is yearning for you to make amends so you can annihilate thoughts that may be poisoning you.
My “shadow-side” can propel me to be irrational and/or mean (to myself and others) if I have an “issue” that’s been swept under the rug. I can’t leave any part of me behind as I elevate! As I’m learning to be more gentle with my “inner child” I’m soothing my soul and letting pain go.
If you’re interested in learning how to work with your “shadow” I recommend this video. Teal is a little peculiar but if you’re serious about healing I’m sure you will happily consume TONS of her videos!
Brain Science/Magic
The idea behind neuroplasticity is that whenever we engage in a new behavior and adapt new practices our brain remodels itself. But comfort and change don’t often coexist.
We don’t typically consider the all the aspects of our lives that cruise on auto-pilot. We don’t realize how much influence we have over our own biochemistry. We don’t always use our resources. We stick to what we’ve been taught.
Aside from being the pilot– tap into the control tower.
Most of us get “stuck” in the pilot seat without realizing we can get into the seat of the “observer” and “helper”.
I am reprogramming my mind (flight patterns) with the help of Spirit (the tower).
How?
- Embracing silence
- Becoming aware of my habits and self-limiting beliefs
- Being mindful of what triggers my emotions
- Paying attention to what I feel
- Asking myself questions
- Changing the way I speak to myself
- Altering my judgmental disposition
- Reconnecting with my heart
- Keeping an open mind
So What’s Next?
I’m investing in me. Playing show and tell as I learn the importance of mindfulness and exploring collective consciousness. In paying attention to the big ol’ universe, I’m seeing synchronicity everywhere.
I’ve been a huge cynic over the years (still got a big ego) so it’s not easy for me to open up and share my journey with you. To face the possible judgment and ridicule?! But fuck it. Fear is where God isn’t! I’m not just talking smoke and mirrors. Not preaching with no practice. This is MY LIFE.
I know I’m on a path that aligns with my purpose. If you got this far you’re here for a reason. No matter what you believe in I encourage you to keep that mind open. Everyday I welcome new concepts. Connect with new people. Reconnect with all that I am. Balance is essential. Awareness is crucial. Openness to heal and grow is everything. Authenticity will put you on the right track.
There is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to connecting with Spirit. All paths lead to the same place. Don’t be afraid to explore yourself in order to make more room for love and magic in your life. You already have EVERYTHING you need. You are the plug.
Writing helps me feel, deal, and heal. I teach as I learn. I grow as I flow. Laughing as I go <3
I’m plugged up on a deeper level these days. Most realizations feel familiar. Like reminders. Let me jog your memory, too! I want you to rewrite sob stories into victories. I wanna see you side-stepping obstacles while moving on purpose with purpose.
In this space, I welcome you to weed out pesky thoughts and nurture tender ones. That’s what I’m doing! As my cup runneth over, I’ll continue to overflow. Teaching you how fish while giving you a lil taste of what I’ve caught is what I’m into. Why? because you already have everything you need! You have more than enough, actually. Let’s get used to abundance.
Break Down Before the Build Up
In an article I published on Camarilla Complex I took the stance that we can’t find answers to our deepest question or happiness outside ourselves. I said we won’t feel “whole” by accumulating accomplishments, acquiring accolades or knowing more things. Won’t be “complete” in the arms of another. We are essentially condemned to being dissatisfied or as the Old and New Testament would put it:
That is– until we “see the light” and tap into it. Fulfillment (en route to heaven) is the feeling we get when we’re plugged to the Source. I call the power source: God. It’s that connection fuels our energy (innerG). When we make room for innerG flow: we make love & create life. And I’m not even talkin’ bout knockin boots and babies, ya’ll!
The Gag
Most of us are taught to spend our lives awaiting a divine pat on the back at the end of the tunnel. No disrespect to what you currently believe but let’s call my writing… provocative! I’m here to challenge old beliefs that are played, ok? I’ve unlearned a lot so now I’m into debunking popular beliefs, widely accepted ideas, and misconceptions. Challenging what we’ve been conditioned to believe is my schtick.
Let’s focus on tapping into love + light.
But You Got This!
According to the streets (and Refrenitery 29 LOL) a plug is someone who’s “able to acquire goods or services with relative ease”. You looking for love? a lil belonging? maybe it’s acceptance? guidance? support? clarity? God got the goods! And you know the plug is? YOU.
I want you to walk away from every interaction with me knowing that you are the plug. You have access to God’s grace via your higher-self at all times. No child of his or saint of theirs can block you from accessing your birthright!
The Mechanics
When you plug an object into an electric outlet current is supplied to power it. I want you to think of God as the current that infinitely fuels the outlets that we’re all connected to. All we gotta do is consciously connect. Regularly recharging. Now, remember that part about plugs acquiring goods with “relative ease”? God is always accessible but it may take some coordination on your part to get in sync! God can give us all the energy we need. I’m here showing you how that Inner G flows through me.
Stay Plugged Up
It’s our divine bond with our creator/creation that deconstructs our fears and offers boundless purpose-driven possibilities. Being fueled by God opens the right doors at the perfect times. Sometimes we’re nudged to steer clear from danger. Other times we’re called to jump higher and leap wider than we ever have.
Need to Get Connected?
When we know what moves us and are clear about what we desire: we can set our intentions and use God to fuel action. Then, we practice going with the flow. When blessings come our way: we can receive them! But we gotta know how to. I’m inviting you to learn that with me!
I know that staying attentive and practicing gratitude at every bend is vital. Being honest about our feelings and trusting our intuition helps us tap in. Now, when we’re inspired by genius or experiencing synchronicity God’s showing us that we’re plugged in!
Will it Make or Break You?
Being the plug can save you or act as a stopper if you get in the way. When we self-sabotage, things have a funny way of going wrong back to back. Ya know how they say “when it rains it pours”? Well, we have the power to reroute thunderstorms.
The thoughts we repeat to ourselves evoke the feelings and those emotions fuel actions. It gets lonely and little scary when we’re disconnected. Have no fear though! We are co-creators of our unique realities. We can always reconnect with God and I explore those miracles on these digital pages.
Intentions Matter
It’s my intent to make concepts and modalities from different schools of thought (i.e. psychology, sociology, quantum physics) easier to digest. I’ll show you how different principles affect us on a daily basis and the perspectives that can shift life as you know it. I’m here to share resources that will help you rewire your brain to aid in your expansion.
You’ll notice I poke fun at sensitive subjects. I love to feel light + tend to make light. For better or worse. Call it a coping mechanism? a nervous twitch? a zest for life??? However you perceive it, just know that having a sense of humor is a must around here! I’m going to connect with you on different levels. From holy to petty. Take what serves you and leave what doesn’t.
Where Me & You Stand
If all your friends (I am one of your friends) are jumping off a bridge would you do it?
I need you to know I’m the first friend that jumped! I’ll let you know what’s safe based on my own faceplants and miraculous landings. So listen, if I don’t come up for air after I take a dive just stay where you are!!! But I plan to keep breathing! Deep breaths at that. For you and me both.
Wake Up to Stay Up!
I asked about the friends and the bridge for the same reason your parents would. We don’t typically consider all the aspects of our lives that cruise on auto-pilot.
We don’t realize how much influence we have on the world around us, let alone in relation to our own biochemistry. We don’t always use our resources. We stick to what we’ve been doing. Oftentimes unaware of it all!
You know how “they” say we only use 10% of our brains? WELP, that’s because (give or take) 90% of our mind operates on a subconscious level. Essentially, we are not actively aware of the thoughts that linger in this powerful space. It’s home to ideas, beliefs, schemas, and of course, painful memories that we keep locked away. These buried thoughts often trigger emotional responses in us. It’s our duty to observe ourselves, see what affects us, and ask ourselves “why?”
Takeaway: Question everything lol
Not in a self-doubting or trust-issues kinda way! More so in a: “why am I too sexy for my shirt? will it always hurt?” kinda thing.
Never say stupid shit like: “that’s just how I am” or even worse: “that’s just WHO I am” *insert pukey face*
Try progressive stuff like: “My tendency to ___(insert terrible thing)___ hasn’t served me so I’m committing to ___(insert better thing)___ by ___(insert actionable practice)____.
Brain Science & Magic
Most of what I harp on involves being aware of your feelings and changing your mind. I lay it on thick because I know it’s not easy to teach old dogs new tricks but I know it’s possible! The idea behind neuroplasticity is our brains can be rewired. Whenever we engage in new behavior and try to adopt better practices our brain can remodel itself. But again, it takes work! While comfort and change don’t often coexist– discomfort begets growth! I want to help soothe your growing pains with facts, figures, and tenderness. I want you tapped in. Let’s flow together. That why we’re here 🙂
*ROLL CREDITS*